**Trigger warning. The end of this post contains content that may reference emotional distress & eating disorders. Please proceed with caution**
Sorry if that caught you off guard! Pick up your jaw, you're in for a ride! There was a blog post in November where I said "What a long year this week has been". Well, this played a part in there as well so let's dive in!
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Minion met a lovely young lady at school, we'll call her Scarlett. Things in this house are fast-paced so it makes sense that he moves in on Sept 3, and tells me that he has a girlfriend on Oct 5. (Yes, I remember the date perfectly).
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Things are fine. They're at school and can see each other there, and by this time he doesn't have any tablets or anything so it's contained. So I tried to be a good mom by asking him questions, which in turn he asked Scarlett questions so he could learn how to be an intrigued boyfriend!
November comes. He has access to my old iPad, where he can message her. We take them on a date & I cry all weekend because "I just got you and you're already in love with someone else!" Then he got in trouble and lost screen time. The years are passing by in days!
We made it through the holidays. Minion earned his screen (and an upgraded iPad) on Christmas Day, and started talking to Scarlett again while he was at home. I took him shopping for her and he wrapped his own presents!
Well, January is here and it's over. Minion is working on moving to a new school this month and she'll be out of sight, out of mind. I can tell that he's hurt but he's "done sulking mom!". BTW he used a vocab word "sulk" for that.
Looking back on the experience, we all learned a lot! Screen time rules, boundaries, & making sure to ask Minion if he's on the phone before we start running our mouths in the kitchen. We discussed with Minion that his role is to be caring and supportive.
Supportive good vs bad example (this is the sensitive part)
Minion came home and said that he had not eaten his lunch one day. When I asked if Scarlett ate, he said "no".
As people, we always want to ask why the girlfriend isn't eating, and the first day he didn't have a reason.
By day 2, he knew why she wasn't eating, but he still continued to not eat (actually by Day 2 he ate a little).
Before the end of day 2, I made sure to communicate "don't you care that she isn't eating? You want her to be healthy. Don't not eat in solidarity for her, make sure you eat your food and ask her if she's ok because you care about her"
Eventually, he ate.
I felt like I went around and round with this one.. In my opinion, she was not very supportive of him. We want Minion to be with someone who gives him the love that he deserves. Poor kid, he has a protector mom like me! I promise I wasn't giving him grief every day!
Talk Soon!
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